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:iconcaylee-slansen: More from Caylee-Slansen


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Devious Literature by Michel-le-fou

Literature by GetWatchers


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Submitted on
June 30, 2012
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907 bytes
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1,368
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68 (who?)
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50
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I lay still in my bed,
Mr. Ted by my side,
And listen hard for the thing
That crawls around outside.
He'll start with the scratching,
It's always the same,
His claws carving the face
Of the wooden door frame.
Then he'll move onto the blood
Seeping beneath my door,
Dripping from the walls,
Covering the floor.
The wardrobe will squeak,
Those green eyes appear,
Voices will whisper
Dark words in my ear.
Their dead hands will tug
At the edge of my sheets
And insects will crawl
All over my feet.
I lay and wait
For their games to begin.
But tonight will be different,
I whisper with a grin,
Tonight I will show
Those monsters a scare.
They can come back again,
IF they dare.
So this is just a quick little poem I wrote in about 20 minutes. I know it's not perfect and could do with some tweaking here and there, so suggestions are more than welcome!
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:iconspooky1014u:
spooky1014u Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
this is a very very spooky poem. I love it. You could adapt this into a story about monsters and demons that mess with you and then you show em who's boss by scarin the heck outta them.
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :) stories aren't really my strength, I find it hard to commit myself, however you're more than welcome to have a go yourself if you feel up to it! If you do let me know so I can have a read :D
Reply
:iconthewitchofgrich:
theWitchofGrich Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012
I reread this and I loved it even more than before! Beautiful!! :D :D
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!! It's one of my favourites too :D
Reply
:iconthemadgrimreaper:
TheMADGrimReaper Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It somehow reminds me of SCP :iconiseewhatudidthereplz:
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Do you think?
Reply
:iconthemadgrimreaper:
TheMADGrimReaper Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yes
Reply
:iconjasminenightheart:
Jasminenightheart Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Once again you truely show your self as the female Edger Allen Poe, cudos my friend :)
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:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!!! XD
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:iconjasminenightheart:
Jasminenightheart Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
your welcome
Reply
:iconjasminenightheart:
Jasminenightheart Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
your welcome
Reply
:iconvan-dunkelschreiber:
Van-Dunkelschreiber Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I love it its full of sensations
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :D
Reply
:iconvan-dunkelschreiber:
Van-Dunkelschreiber Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
^^ your welcome
Reply
:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012
I love the vivid imagery, I could picture it all really clearly. I liked the end too; it really turns things around, and leaves on unexpectedly positive note! I write some poetry myself, but I'm by no means a poet and since there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to art and poetry, there's no wrong or right. I personally thought there were maybe a couple of lines that didn't flow as well as the rest, but it can be really hard to tell a good story and get all the words to flow they way you want.

Anyway, I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing!
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:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :D Really appreciate your comments!
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:iconsomnolent-droid:
Somnolent-Droid Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2012
:D
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:icondistorted-paintbrush:
distorted-paintbrush Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012  Student General Artist
this is exelent also...you are quite talented.
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconalenor1:
AleNor1 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Filmographer
Woah... Amazing!
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! Glad you like! :D
Reply
:iconmusicalpurplegiraffe:
MusicalPurpleGiraffe Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I think this is freakin awesome :))
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:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! Glad you like! :D
Reply
:iconultramanreddo:
UltramanReddo Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist
Pretty scary and well written
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:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconcretesummerfang:
CreteSummerfang Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Scary stuff O.o
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:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! Hope I don't give you nightmares :P
Reply
:iconbemari:
Bemari Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012
Well written poem.
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :D
Reply
:iconthepenvsthesword:
ThePenVsTheSword Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Student Writer
It's good, but I'm curious about the scare.
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:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Then I've done my job :) It's what ever you imagine it to be
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:iconthepenvsthesword:
ThePenVsTheSword Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Student Writer
Ah, ok. :D
Reply
:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is a nice poem but it is unclear as to what gives you this confidence.
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I see what you mean. I was thinking with the repetition, the fact that this child endures these every night, has caused the 'scary' things to become boring. But through what they have experienced, they have come up with ideas of their own which leads to the 'if' they dare.
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
lol a personal experience of myself :) but I guess this is not the place to discuss this; my own latest work is based on my childhood experiences :D
Reply
:iconcrossing-ariel:
crossing-ariel Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012
Nice rhythm, but no lullaby. Don't ever read this one to your kids. *LOL.* Very nice! Exactly what we fear when we are small.
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Unless you want to scare them anyway! This is something an Aunt / Uncle would read to the kids to scare them and keep their parents awake :)
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:iconcrossing-ariel:
crossing-ariel Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012
Hehehe. *s* My uncle used to tell me stories like that. *lmao.* I loved him for it. I then stalked other kids down on the playground to relate the tales.
Reply
:iconjokerrlaughs:
JokerrLaughs Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
this is excellent
some of the lines need more/less syllables
but this truly is a work of art (:
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! But yeh it needs some tweaking :)
Reply
:iconalessaandra-the-fair:
Alessaandra-the-Fair Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I enjoy the ending very much. It's not an ending so much as it is an invitation for the reader to conjure up the beginning of a new story. Well done.
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :) That's what I was going for. I love poems that leave you thinking after reading it, something that gets the imagination going.
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:iconalessaandra-the-fair:
Alessaandra-the-Fair Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
There's a lot of focus on closure in most of the stories that are told (it doesn't matter what the medium is). But I've found most "endings" to be unsatisfying. I actually prefer issues left unresolved to endings which attempt to tie off everything and force a conclusion that seems unnatural. As such, this little poem has a perfect ending!
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:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I completely agree! It's like films, I prefer them so much more when there's no 'real' conclusion. It just grants people the opportunity to end things the way they want, rather than being told how something is going to end :)
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:iconmichel-le-fou:
Michel-le-fou Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Professional Writer
Classical horror in a short form. Lovecraft and Lefanu would love it.
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! I'm a big fan of Lovecraft so really appreciate your comment!
Reply
:iconmichel-le-fou:
Michel-le-fou Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Professional Writer
I can tell! Write again, I am sure it will show in that too.
Reply
:iconnaujokaite:
naujokaite Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Student Artist
wow.. just wow, amazing poem, I just love how poetic, mysterious it was.
Love it
Reply
:iconcaylee-slansen:
Caylee-Slansen Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! Glad you like it :)
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:iconnaujokaite:
naujokaite Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Student Artist
np :)
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